Effin' Cold

So, it's fucking cold, with temperatures dropping below zero and a wind chill factor in the negatives. My garlic bulbs are all like, whatever.

Garlic: "We will not be deterred."

I've been attentive to my birds, even rigging a fountain up during the day and keeping the feeders filled so the birds can stay hydrated and warm. I stood at the door in the kitchen for most of the day, snapping shots (like I've done before, see Winter Birds).

The Black-Capped Chickadee has appeared on the blog before.

Chickadee: "You know I expect to reimbursed for this photo shoot, right?"
Me: "Uh, yeah, it's called the food that I put out for you."

Me: "Consider yourself totally fucking paid."

Second Chickadee: "What's this I hear?
We get food for letting that crazy chick take our photos?"

Second Chickadee: "I work hard for the money."

The Chickadees brought a friend, the Tufted Titmouse to the feeder today. 

Titmouse: "So hard for it, honey."

Titmouse: "...nom nom..."

Chickadee: "What you got over there, yo?"

Male Cardinal: "Somebody needs to come clean this shit up."

Male Cardinal: "I'm being the change I want to see in the world."

Then, their girlfriends showed up, with a guest who rarely visits my feeders (when I'm watching), the White-Breasted Nuthatch.

Female Cardinal: "Let's hear it for the girls."
Nuthatch: "I'm sexually ambiguous."

Female Cardinal: "I'm totally surviving this shit.
I didn't get this fat for nothing. You know what I'm sayin'?"
Nuthatch: "No, I'm just here because peanuts are out of season."

Male Cardinal: "It's okay baby, I think you're hot."

Mourning Dove: "Did somebody say clean-up on aisle porch?"

Mourning Dove: "We work hard, so you don't have to."
Me: "I still have to sweep the shells up."
Mourning Dove: "No response."

I love these next two shots because you can see the doves ruffling their feathers, which all birds do to help stay warm.

Mourning Dove 1: "I can't believe we're standing in
the snow. You know, she's got feeders on the porch?"
Mourning Dove 2: "Duh-duh duh-duh."

Mourning Dove 2: "Duh-duh duh-duh."
Mourning Dove 1: "I mated an idiot."

And another newbie to my blog, the Song Sparrow.

Song Sparrow: "I want you to notice when I'm not around."

Song Sparrow: "You're so fucking
special, I wish I was special."

Song Sparrow: "But I'm a creep,
I'm a weird-ohhh."

Nuthatch: "What the hell am I
doing here?  I don't belong here."

Nuthatch: "Radiohead and Donna Summer should so sue us."

Male Cardinal: "I don't think people can sue birds."
Junco: "Uh, yeah, I think they have to sue crazy chick."

So, yeah, that's what I did today, communed with the birds. Well, not really, because I was standing behind a door in a heated kitchen while they froze off their tail feathers outside. That's one of the perks of being human.