Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Effin' Cold

So, it's fucking cold, with temperatures dropping below zero and a wind chill factor in the negatives. My garlic bulbs are all like, whatever.
Garlic: "We will not be deterred."
I've been attentive to my birds, even rigging a fountain up during the day and keeping the feeders filled so the birds can stay hydrated and warm. I stood at the door in the kitchen for most of the day, snapping shots (like I've done before, see Winter Birds).

The Black-Capped Chickadee has appeared on the blog before.
Chickadee: "You know I expect to reimbursed for this photo shoot, right?"
Me: "Uh, yeah, it's called the food that I put out for you."

Me: "Consider yourself totally fucking paid."
Second Chickadee: "What's this I hear?
We get food for letting that crazy chick take our photos?"
Second Chickadee: "I work hard for the money."
The Chickadees brought a friend, the Tufted Titmouse to the feeder today. 
Titmouse: "So hard for it, honey."
Titmouse: "...nom nom..."
Chickadee: "What you got over there, yo?"
Male Cardinal: "Somebody needs to come clean this shit up."
Male Cardinal: "I'm being the change I want to see in the world."
Then, their girlfriends showed up, with a guest who rarely visits my feeders (when I'm watching), the White-Breasted Nuthatch.
Female Cardinal: "Let's hear it for the girls."
Nuthatch: "I'm sexually ambiguous."

Female Cardinal: "I'm totally surviving this shit.
I didn't get this fat for nothing. You know what I'm sayin'?"
Nuthatch: "No, I'm just here because peanuts are out of season."
Male Cardinal: "It's okay baby, I think you're hot."
Mourning Dove: "Did somebody say clean-up on aisle porch?"
Mourning Dove: "We work hard, so you don't have to."
Me: "I still have to sweep the shells up."
Mourning Dove: "No response."
I love these next two shots because you can see the doves ruffling their feathers, which all birds do to help stay warm.
Mourning Dove 1: "I can't believe we're standing in
the snow. You know, she's got feeders on the porch?"
Mourning Dove 2: "Duh-duh duh-duh."
Mourning Dove 2: "Duh-duh duh-duh."
Mourning Dove 1: "I mated an idiot."

And another newbie to my blog, the Song Sparrow.
Song Sparrow: "I want you to notice when I'm not around."
Song Sparrow: "You're so fucking
special, I wish I was special."
Song Sparrow: "But I'm a creep,
I'm a weird-ohhh."
Nuthatch: "What the hell am I
doing here?  I don't belong here."

Nuthatch: "Radiohead and Donna Summer should so sue us."
Male Cardinal: "I don't think people can sue birds."
Junco: "Uh, yeah, I think they have to sue crazy chick."
So, yeah, that's what I did today, communed with the birds. Well, not really, because I was standing behind a door in a heated kitchen while they froze off their tail feathers outside. That's one of the perks of being human.


David said...

Angie, I see the basis of a great illustrated novel here!

Angie Lisle said...

Yeah, except this is what I actually do when I'm bored. I have imaginary conversations with animals (no wonder the neighbors think I'm nuts).

This is the first time I tried to put the imaginary conversations into printed words. I think I'm going to keep using this as a writing exercise, for those days when I'm not doing so well on other projects! It definitely distracted me out of a bad mood and I need something that's light, non-committal. I'm keeping it small for now but if an illustrated novel would emerge in the future...that might be lovely!